A women is considered as a pious being in the Asian culture, especially in Islamic states all over the world. Right from the first day when a girl is born, she is taught ‘Haya’. The word ‘Haya’ is being used here to show the decency, firmness, innocence, kindness, softness, calmness a woman should possess. A women is considered as a source of pleasure for a man, for a family, for children. Every women possesses a quality of motherhood, whether she has given a birth to a child or still unmarried. She is brought up in such a way that no matter how hard it is to survive, she does. No matter how difficult the situation is, she finds a way. No matter how many hurdles she has to face, she still thrives and not only herself, she also made it possible for others to pass through the obstacle. That’s how every girl is nurtured since the moment they step into the world.
Like firmness and innocence, every girl is taught that one day, she will get married to a man and will leave the home she was born in behind. She is taught that his husband will be everything for her. He will protect her from evils. He will be the source of her happiness. He will be the shelter she needs the most. He will never let others raise voice against her character. And so she fantasizes things about the man she is going to spend her whole with.
But in our culture, how do we treat a women? We treat her so disrespectfully that in some families, when a girl is born, people call her a ‘burden’. When she enters her teen ages, we get more depressed as she will be getting married soon, and we have to spend money on her occasions. When she passes through the roads, she has a fear of being teased by men. If she is wearing a ‘Hijab’, people takes out different meanings and passes so false and vulgar comments that staying at home becomes the right choice for her. If she goes out alone for job purposes, she has a fear of being raped or kidnapped. If she is being abused by somebody for no reason, she cannot even raise her voice as she is taught ‘Haya’.
Man uses her for his pleasures, whether he is the one she loves the most or the one she is constrained to work with as she has no other options when it comes to job. Man abuses her; exploit her sometimes so badly even then she doesn’t raise her voice as the disgrace will be on her part.
Whether she is doing something happily or forcefully, fingers will be arising on her character in the end. As a result, she stays quite to prevent from being disrespected.
Why not she raises her voice? The answer is this society? This culture? Our religion? No, the answer is we, being her family members do not support her. If something bad happens to her, we throw her away from home; we boycott her calling her a slut. Raising fingers is an easiest way to solve the problems for people like us. A man she trusts will support her, instead of protecting her from the evils, calls her characterless and leaves her forever. She when finds no way out gets depressed, ill and so weak that at the end finds the easiest way to end her painful life; attempts suicide.
Have you heard of a term ‘Utopia’? An imagined place or state of things in which everything is perfect. She, when grows up, fantasizes the world to be a perfect place for her, but unfortunately, with each year passing by, she gets to know the bitter realities, practicalities, materialism the world is filled with. This saddens her, she gets disappointed and so this cruel world magnifies their cruelty and grabs her happiness away. What do we need to do to make this world a better place for her? It’s not a rocket science. All we need to do is to stay by her side, reassure her every time that we are with her, support her, love her, respect her, protect her, empower her, teach her the realities of this world. So that she can breathe in the fresh air like a man. So that she is confident from deep inside her heart.
Lets tell her that the real meaning of ‘Haya’ does not lies in keeping quite when something bad happens to her.